Ayers (Image: SHe Said)
In 2012, musician Jen Ayers’ husband, Graham, came out as transgender.
The two had been together since meeting at their 1988 college orientation, later performing in bands and starting a family together.
This life-changing event sparked many questions about what it meant for them as individuals, as a couple, and as parents. The only way Ayers could find answers was by making music and, eventually, writing the full-length musical SHe Said, which will have its world premiere at Capitol Hill’s Erickson Theatre from January 14 through February 1 as part of Intiman Theatre’s 2025-2026 season.
“When I am trying to figure something out, process something, or don’t understand something, my go-to in life is often to sit at the piano, make music, and write songs,” said Ayers. “The first seedling of a song that led to this musical today probably started the morning after Graham came to this discovery.”
SHe Said’s journey from Ayers’ piano bench at home to Intiman Theatre’s stage spans more than a decade, with private workshops at The Royal Room and Seattle Rep, a four-night run of public performances at Broadway Performance Hall, and numerous re-writes. Ayers also released a double album of SHe Said songs in 2022.
Billed as an ageless, transformational love story akin to Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Ayers’ musical explores the impact of gender identity on a family and a couple who transition together, changing the way one thinks about what it means to love.
This world-premiere iteration at Intiman Theatre features an immersive stage that resembles a nightclub lounge, complete with cabaret-style tables offering cocktail service to audience members and traditional theater seating. Ayers, who sings and plays piano, is backed by guitarists R. L. Heyer and Kathy Moore, bassist Rebecca Young, keyboardist Melissa Montalto, and drummer Geoff Redding.
“I could not be more thrilled to do this run with Intiman,” said Ayers. “They are just really the right fit for this piece. Part of their ethos is to bring work to the stage that’s brave. They support the LGBTQ community. They are fierce protectors of art and artists. I’m honored they want to bring this show to their stage.”
Ayers recently spoke to CHS about the long, personal journey that brought SHe Said to the stage.
Are there one or two specific things that you really want audiences to take away from SHe Said?
Our tagline for this show is, “Love wins.” People change. Circumstances change. We’re all out there weathering storms in our lives, and it’s love that ultimately carries us through those times. Also, the importance of being your truest self, for humans to accept and embrace each other’s most authentic selves, which brings us back full circle to love. It’s a love story. What we talk about in this show are universal themes. You don’t have to have a trans partner to experience what it’s like to love someone and for them to change, or for you to realize you’re changing. These are things we all experience as humans.
You started to write the show’s music the day after Graham’s revelation. What was that early process like?
For quite some time, it was just my time alone at the piano, getting out my feelings, and processing stuff. One of the biggest challenges about this piece of art is that we were living it while I was writing it. It took a few years before it really occurred to me that this was something that I might want to say more about than just being in my studio alone with it.
Was it important for the story to be told as a musical?
With the songs I started writing, I didn’t know. Are these journal entries? Is this a book? What do I have to say here? Is it for me? Or is there a message here that might be important to share outside my personal space? As life kept happening and more of our story kept unfolding, we got to a place where someone said, “You know, you have this beautiful music, but you have these stories that go along with it.” I realized it was about playing songs and telling the stories. So, that’s what I kept doing.
Graham and I were living together, so Graham was always involved. If this becomes something to be shared with others, how do you feel about that? How do we feel about that? Graham is not only the person I play every song for; we’re also artistic collaborators. It was the two of us deciding, “Is this OK? Is this safe? Do we want to do this?”
The most sacred thing for Graham and me is our relationship, our family. In some ways, this process was really helpful. There was a lot of growth. The night before we hit the Broadway Performance Hall stage, Graham and I had a conversation. I said, “How do you feel, honey? You know, if this doesn’t feel right to you, we won’t get on stage and do this.” Graham said, “No. I want to do this.”
What was the response?
I don’t know if we realized that was like a giant coming-out party. It was quite incredible, emotional, and beautiful. I felt relief. When you make a piece of art, it feels good if it’s received. In this case, it was almost more important that Graham’s authentic self and our authentic selves were embraced. There was a sense of joy and relief at being out. If your partner is not completely out, then you’re also closeted with your partner. We made the decision to be seen through telling the story. It’s just honest, authentic, and messy.
After that initial run, Graham and I talked about our comfort levels and sharing a little more of the story. Graham turned to me and said, “I’m ready for you to tell the rest of the story.” This has been part of the process. In the development of that and the fine-tuning of the storytelling, I’ve re-written and integrated the music in new ways, with the help of co-producer Elisabeth Farwell-Moreland and director Allison Narver.
What’s next for SHe Said after its run at Intiman Theatre?
Our team’s collective plan is to create this show so that it can live on any stage, from a black box to the Paramount Theater to a small college. Our feeling is that it’s a story that needs to be shared. Seattle is a safe place to tell a story like this. There are places in our country that maybe need this story. The message of this show is so important, and we want to share it. Hearts can be changed. This is an essential time for all of us to stand up.
SHe Said runs January 14 through February 1 at the Erickson Theatre (1425 Harvard Avenue) on Capitol Hill. Learn more here.
Subscribe to CHS to help us hire writers and photographers to cover the neighborhood. CHS is a pay what you can community news site with no required sign-in or paywall. To stay that way, we need you. Become a subscriber to help us cover the neighborhood for $5 a month — or choose your level of support 
